I apologize for my lack of posts here. It’s not that I don’t have enough to write about, it’s just that I have a hard time expressing my thoughts and feelings into the right words for a blog post.

I hope that the holidays were good for everyone. I’ve been home for ten days now and I am loving every (almost) moment. There is just something about going back to what is the most familiar to me that gives me a sense of comfort, safety, and release. As ridiculous as our malls get during this time of year, they are still my favorite place to visit because of the overwhelming sense of home I feel there. That was our hangout spot growing up. The place where you could stay all day to get away from everything else. Read up on some magazines, shop for clothes, see a movie, get some grub. It’s funny to see youngsters hanging out there the way that I used to.

We’re all growing up. Moving forward. Not always in the right direction, but moving nonetheless.

Something I’ve been wanting to write about for a long time now is my renewed sense of self. Mostly myself as a hopeless romantic/idealist. It became so easy to lose sight of who I really was, who I’ve always been. And that tends to happen when you’re far away from your “roots” aka what you call home. It doesn’t have to be a place necessarily, but it could be a certain group of friends, a certain kind of lifestyle you no longer live, etc. When things change, you want to learn from your past and grow in a new direction, but what I did was abandon my past all together. And I don’t know about you, but that wasn’t the best path to take.

I’ve always had so much hope for the best; in life, in people, in myself. I’ve always expected only the best. I’ve always gone above and beyond for the ones I love and care for. While it is true that what you give is not always what you get, and that getting let down is common, I shouldn’t have let that get in the way of my true nature. If you really think about it, everything has a way of figuring itself out. No matter what predicament or situation you are in, there will be a way for it to resolve itself. As long as you give your all and believe that to be true, it will happen.

Just because you did not dedicate yourself the way that I did for you does not mean that there won’t be someone who will.

I am accepting heartbreak instead of denying it. It only makes me stronger. I hope that you are all able to embrace your downfalls in order to grow from them. It’s okay to be let down and feel that pain. It’s okay to experience heart ache. There is no good without the bad. You can only appreciate the good that much more, so please, accept it. Feel it. Learn from it. And move on.

It might never be easy. But it will be worth it.

Love & Peace